The Circular of Janus

Vol. 18, Issue 12 December 8th, 1998
Copyright 1998


The Electronic Edition
David Henninger, Editor
Robin R. Brunner, Publisher
The Circular of Janus is a publication of the Circle of Janus Science Fiction Club of Central Indiana. Subscription is included with membership, $10/year. For information, write to Circle of Janus, P.O. Box 68514, Indianapolis, IN 46268-0514 or e-mail davidhenninger@cs.com

IN THIS EDITION:

OPENING REMARKS
MEETING/PARTY INFO
PRESIDENTIAL PONDERINGSBy Mike Cowper
SEC'S NOTESBy Lynnette R. F. Cowper
FOUNTAIN OF MYSTERY TO CLOSE
A LETTER FROM JEAN WHITELAW
ECCENTRIC ORBIT #59By Don Dailey
AMAZON.COM'S TEN BEST SCIENCE & NATURE TITLES OF 1998
LAST RITES - Humor
WATCH OUT FOR THE "BAD TIMES" VIRUS - Humor
SANTA IS A GIRL! - Humor


OPENING REMARKS

With the club approaching its nineteenth birthday, it's putting on a more organized and formal appearance. The amendment to the by-laws was passed codifying the board of directors required for our incorporation. Next month we will have the first regular election of the chairman of that board. We will, as usual, elect a new crop of officers next month as well. The text of that amendment and a complete list of candidates nominated so far is in Lynnette Cowper's Sec's Notes column.

If you missed the last meeting and want to nominate someone or place your own name in nomination for an office, you can do so before the election at January's meeting or write or e-mail Robin or me and we'll place it in the next Circular. We will also publish articles (speeches) by those who want to blow their own horns, or someone else's before the election.

Don Dailey and Jean Whitelaw return this month. Jean offers her perspective on InCon and children's SF.

Don't miss the article on Fountain of Mystery's last sale. DAH


MEETING/PARTY INFO

There will be no regular meeting in December. Instead we'll have the Anniversary/Christmas party! This will be at Kat Robinson's place. [address and phone number not published in the web edition - JNT]

The next regular meeting of The Circle of Janus will be Saturday, January 2, 1999 at the Children's Museum. Doors open about 6:30 p.m. Enter via the group entrance as usual. This is the election meeting.


PRESIDENTIAL PONDERINGS
by Mike Cowper

Well, the year's almost over. I've not been good about getting presidential ponderings written for the newsletter. Maybe I don't ponder enough. I do want to make a few comments about the year as whole though.

This was my first year as club president, and it's been fun. I won't claim to have done the best job. There have been others better than I in the past. But I think the year turned out OK. We've got a place to meet for next year, we had what I think was one of the best InCons ever, and we've started non-meeting meetings again. Not too bad I think. Of course I didn't really have much to do with most of that.

I know there was quite a bit of discussion about the direction of the con was taking after it was over this year. I didn't contribute much because everything that I would have said was already being said by other people. InCon is, in my opinion, a very well-rounded convention, and I like it that way. I've gone to a couple other conventions this year, but InCon was the best.

I'm looking forward to another good year next year, whether I'm president again or not, and I'm sure that everyone will do their best to make it so. For anyone who doesn't make it to the Christmas/Anniversary party, I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Thank you all for a good year and a good convention.


SEC'S NOTES
by Lynnette R. F. Cowper

The November meeting of the Circle of Janus was held on Nov. 7th, 1998, at the Children's Museum. The meeting opened at 7:41 PM. 21 adults and 2 children were present. All officers were present.

We had one visitor, Theresa Williams, another of the ConSept people.

The minutes for October '98 were accepted as published.

The treasurer reported [amounts withheld in the web edition - JNT].

In convention reports, for InCon '98, Andy reported that it appears we made about $1000 this year.

Randy Porter reported for InCon '99. There have been two concom meetings to date and everything is moving, though slowly. The Concom is filled, but there are always positions assisting and so on.

Keith was absent, and thus there was no report for InCon 2000.

In old business, the amendment that the club dues be raised to $15 a year was passed, with 18 yeas and 0 nays.

The amendment that "The Board of Directors shall consist of the members of the executive committee, headed by a Chairbeing elected every two years from among the current membership who have previously held club office. The sitting Chairbeing of the Board shall not concurrently hold any other club office," was passed, with 18 yeas and 0 nays.

In New Business, Mike opened nominations for '99 club officers. Those not present at the meeting, please, feel free to nominate via email or letter prior to the January meeting. Or, you can nominate someone at the January meeting, if they are present to accept/decline.

The nominations below were all accepted, except as noted.

The nominations at the meeting were:

President:
Mike Cowper, nominated by Chris Canary, seconded by Andrew Happli.

Vice-President:
Vicki Merriman, nominated by Cheryl Andrews, and seconded by Andy Andrews.
Chris Canary, nominated by Susan Rati, and seconded by Andrew Happli.

Secretary:
Lynette Cowper, nominated by Brian Davidson, seconded by Randy Porter.

Treasurer:
Linda Dunn, nominated by Tim (I'm drawing a blank on his last name), and seconded by Andy Andrews.

Sergeant-at-arms:
Andrew Happli, nominated by Kat Robertson, seconded by Chris Canary.
Andy Andrews, nominated by himself, seconded by Andrew Happli (Yes, Andrew seconded the nomination on an opponent).

ConChair 2001:
Lynette Cowper, nominated by Walt Daniels, seconded by Chris Canary.
Kathie Thompson, nominated by Vicki Merriman, seconded by Andy Andrews.
- Kathie was not present to accept or decline the nomination.

Chairbeing of the Board:
Bob McGillem, nominated by Susan Rati, seconded Mike Cowper.
- Bob was not present to accept or decline the nomination.
Jeff Thompson, nominated by Randy Porter, seconded by Vicki Merriman.
- Jeff was not present to accept or decline the nomination.
Andy Andrews, nominated by Cheryl Andrews, seconded by Andrew Happli.
- (Please note, if Andy were to win the club office of Sergeant at Arms, for which he is currently nominated, he would need to withdraw from the election for Chairbeing.)
Vicki Merriman, nominated by herself, seconded by Brian Davidson.
- (Likewise, if Vicki were to win Vice-President, for which she is currently nominated, he would need to withdraw from the election for Chairbeing.)
Nominations will be open until just prior to the elections at the January meeting.

In other new business, our usual after-the-meeting spot, Flakey Jake's, is out of business. We need to be thinking about other possibilities. For the November meeting, Mike had made arrangements with Donato's Pizza, at the corners of 10th and Indiana and Riley, for the after-the-meeting gathering.

The club anniversary party (sometimes known as the Christmas party), will be held at Kat Robertson's on Sunday, December 13th, from 1 PM to 9-ish.

In other announcements and reviews:

Linda had Philcon flyers for anyone who was interested.

Tim mentioned that Fantasy Island had been canceled.

Randy Porter reviewed Steven Baxter's _Titan_. It is an alternate history and Porter described it, as much of Baxter's alternate history books, as depressing. It was mentioned that this appears to be true ONLY of his alternate histories, not his other works.

Linda Dunn mentioned that Barnes and Noble is buying Engram, the major book distributor. SFWA and the ABA are collecting signatures against this deal.

Kat mentioned that Saving Private Ryan is very good.

What Dreams May Come was reviewed as being a tearjerker with excellent SF/X.

Chris Canary reviewed the new Crow TV show as being so-so, Highlander: The Raven as good; and Fantasy Island as being very enjoyable. He also mentioned that the book What Dreams May Come was excellent; The Girl Who Would Be Death, a comic book, as excellent if you like the feel of Sandman; and Superman: War of the Worlds as a good, though odd alternate world. 7 Days was described as "adequate".

The book Star Trek: The Next Generation, The Continuing Mission was mentioned as having a lot of good behind-the-scenes information.

Brooks mentioned that the library book sale was that weekend through the following weekend.

Chuck reviewed Vampires as being an obvious attempt to make a cult film.

Chaos was declared at 8:40 PM.

The after-the-meeting gathering was at Donato's.

Respectfully submitted,
- Lynette R. F. Cowper


FOUNTAIN OF MYSTERY TO CLOSE

Fountain of Mystery Book Store is going out of business. Winona Eads, the owner will undergo knee surgery soon and has decided to retire.

She wants to clean out the shelves before she sells the store. Everything is at least 50% off.

Gordon Burton, a chaplain at Methodist Hospital passed this on to us. He says it's very important you mention his name when you come and that grocery sacks might come in very handy. fountain of Mystery still has an extensive inventory of SF as well as mystery. The address is 1119 E Prospect. Hours are 1:00 to 5:00 PM, Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays. If you can't make it then call 635-CLUE for an appointment.


A LETTER FROM JEAN WHITELAW

Dear Dave and Robin,

I enjoyed talking with you at con and just wish I could have stayed around longer. The layout was much easier for Peg and I to get around in. no mile- long corridors and almost around the corner from our room. the only thing we missed was the coffee shop open till all hours.

We had Chris Bovard (10 year old #4 grandson) with us. Saturday morning I took him to the talk on the making of artifacts on space movies. He left it for a time to watch the SCA demonstration and come back. I asked him how he liked the con and he nodded and said he liked it. Then, when his mother and brother showed up later, he started boasting. He gave point by point on the talk and blow by blow on the demo turning them green with envy.

We went to the Huckster Room and Chris wanted to buy some books. The trouble is that most of the kids know only Star Trek and Star Wars which he was looking over. So I picked up a paperback of the Hobbit and one of Andre Norton's Solar Queen adventures, and he loved them. He got the hardbound illustrated Hobbit for his birthday along with the Jungle Book and will get The Lord of the Rings for Christmas. They out grow plastic toys but books they keep. So I agree with the "Good Doctor"; children need a sense of wonder. I'm also buying Baen Books reprints of the Oz series. Again, all so many kids know is the movie. Got to bring these kids up right!

Talking of books, one I really liked was Remnant Population, by Elizabeth Moon. Being an oldie myself, I appreciated how she lived her own life and especially the final paragraph. I always wanted to be the kind of parent the kids have to keep track of, not the other way around.

My hand is getting tired so I'd better bring this to an end.

See you next year!
Jean Whitelaw

PS: My thanks to everyone who got me a copy of the Chicon Masquerade. I didn't know I had it in me.


ECCENTRIC ORBIT #59
by Don Dailey One of the more popular items on TV and radio these days is David Letterman's Top Ten Lists. I have been watching a lot of TV recently and I have decided I should make my own list of "things" that bug me about TV. But it will be a short list, only five items:

5. Find that idiot that came up with the "Christmas in July" commercial idea for local yokel advertisers. He should be dressed in raw seal skins and dropped at the South Pole on July 4th. I'm not a cruel monster. I'd give him a 24-hour head start before turning the polar bears loose.

4. Programmers who "pre-empt" your favorite show for a 2-hour special of "Luciano Pavarotti Sing the hits of Tiny Tim". And then re-schedules your show (a 50-50 chance it is a season ending cliff-hanger) at 4 am on the day daylight savings time kicks in, making it impossible to program your VCR!

3. Who's idea was it to cram the closing credits of programs and movies in to one third or one fourth of the screen to the point of unreadability? I have some relatives in California who are in show business. If my niece was in a show, I would like to see her name on the screen. I already know what's coming up next. I have TV guide,the local newspaper, and the Preview Station!!!

2. Those program closing blurbs. "We'll be right back with more of the Dingleberrys after this message". And when they come back, more of the Dingleberrys? NO, Just the closing credits. Which you can't read because they are crammed into the corner of the screen!!!

And, the number one thing that bugs me about TV:

1. Those screaming blurbs about the new shows. "The breakout comedy of the year", "This show make ER as boring as watching paint dry", "The show you've all been praying for". And all are canceled after two weeks! Hey, TV bigwigs, it is the viewers that determine what shows are hits. Not those overpaid, non-imaginative deadheads in Programming and Advertising.

And I didn't even mention commercials, or those "infomercials" that are creeping into prime time.


AMAZON.COM's TEN BEST SCIENCE & NATURE TITLES OF 1998
by Editor, Therese Littleton

In 1998 we read lots of terrific science and nature titles, and we had a hard time picking 10 favorites. The books we chose were compelling, accessible, and made us want to learn more. Here's our list of 10 of the best science and nature books of the year.

[We've reported these books as they came out but these are definitely on our reading list. DAH]

  1. The Cambridge Quintet - by John L. Casti
    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0201328283/ref=ad_sn1

    If you've ever thought about which famous scientists you'd invite to dinner, you'll be fascinated by The Cambridge Quintet. Scientist and author John L. Casti decided he'd contemplate what four brilliant thinkers -- Schrodinger, Wittgenstein, Haldane, and Turing -- would discuss given the following topic: Can we build a machine that could duplicate human cognitive process? This speculative evening, imaginarily moderated by C.P. Snow, makes for an absorbing narrative.

  2. Wind: How the Flow of Air Has Shaped Life, Myth, and the Land - by Jan DeBlieu
    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0395780330/ref=ad_sn1

    Put wind in your sails with Jan DeBlieu's excellent book examining the movement of air--such a simple thing, yet it can change our moods, fill our sails, power our machines, and sometimes threaten our lives. DeBlieu's elegant prose marks this as a classic in the making. Go fly a kite!

  3. My Brain Is Open: The Mathematical Journeys of Paul Erdos - by Bruce Schechter
    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0684846357/ref=ad_sn1

    Mathematical folk hero Paul Erdos used to show up to meetings, clutching the two small suitcases containing everything he owned, and announce to a group of waiting mathematicians, My brain is open! Bruce Schechter's biography of Erdos opens that famous brain for us, revealing "an Ali Baba's cave, glittering with mathematical treasures."

  4. Great Feuds in Science: Ten of the Liveliest Disputes Ever - by Hal Hellman
    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0471169803/ref=ad_sn1

    Hal Hellman picks some fights in Great Feuds in Science -- and not just squabbles but the knockdown, drag-out mental fisticuffs that have colored the history of science. It's "Cope vs. Marsh", "Johanson vs. the Leakeys", and "Lord Kelvin vs. Everybody" in the fight of the millennium!

  5. A Field Guide to the Invisible - by Wayne Biddle
    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0805050698/ref=ad_sn1

    Take a deep breath and hold it because you'll never want to inhale again after reading Wayne Biddle's A Field Guide to the Invisible. Find out what's in the air we breathe, the food we eat, and the pollutants we produce... if you dare.

  6. Blood - by Douglas Starr
    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/067941875X/ref=ad_sn1

    Science writer Douglas Starr takes a look at blood and examines the huge worldwide trade in this liquid, which is both beautiful life essence and carrier of feared disease. Read this book and understand why a barrel of blood is worth far more than a barrel of oil.

  7. Song for the Blue Ocean - by Carl Safina
    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0805046712/ref=ad_sn1

    The world's oceans are in trouble, says scientist and fisherman Carl Safina, and our own survival is connected to the health of the seas. In Song for the Blue Ocean, Safina examines our relationship with the sea and the creatures living in it. He uncovers both greedy exploitation and hopefulness in unlikely places.

  8. Civilization and the Limpet - by Martin Wells
    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0738200174/ref=ad_sn1

    "Limpets sit about, doing nothing much, most of the time," writes zoologist Martin Wells in -Civilization and the Limpet.- This pithy collection looks at some of nature's unappreciated beauties. Wells's essays are elegant and funny, inviting readers to share his love of sea urchins, lugworms, and other denizens of the briny deeps.

  9. Life: A Natural History of the First Four Billion Years of Life on Earth - by Richard Fortey
    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0375401199/ref=ad_sn1

    Life probably began in "something approximating the medieval idea of Hell," writes paleontologist Richard Fortey in "Life." Investigate the connections between individual lives and the lives of everything from bacteria to whales in this personal, poetic chronicle. The Guardian says, "This is not a book for people who like science books. It is a book for people who love books, and life."

  10. Encompassing Nature - edited by Robert M. Torrance
    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1887178430/ref=ad_sn1

    In an anthology destined to become a classic of ecological literature, Robert Torrance gathers nature writing from all times and locales, ranging from the creation stories of Native American people to the lyrics of the Chinese T'ang dynasty poet Li Bai.


LAST RITES
Contributed by Pam Barker

The priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night. Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!"

The dying man said nothing.

The priest repeated his order.

Still the dying man said nothing.

The priest asked, "Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?"

The dying man said, "Until I know where I'm heading, I don't think I ought to aggravate anybody."


WATCH OUT FOR THE "BAD TIMES VIRUS"!!
[The next article was e-mailed to Robin Brunner at work. DAH]

If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it immediately. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles.

It will program your phone autodial to call only your mother-in-law's number.

This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer. It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are expecting company. Its radioactive emissions will cause your toe jam and bellybutton fuzz (be honest, you have some) to migrate behind your ears. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.

It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is only fun until someone loses an eye. It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and Tinea. It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which grossly change the interpretations of key sentences.

If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows 95 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, but it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk. It will replace all your luncheon meat with Spam. It will molecularly rearrange your cologne or perfume, causing it to smell like dill pickles.

It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.

It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.


SANTA IS A GIRL!

[This was passed on to us by Rex Alexander, one of the pilots at LifeLine. We aren't sure where it came from before that. It's one of those e-mails that go around the world four time before finally dying of exhaustion. DAH]

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing, social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!

For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman.

Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag.

Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist. Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.

Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man: