The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest challenges entrants to compose truly terrible opening sentences to imaginary novels. The contest is organized by Scott Rice, a professor in San Jose State University's English Department.

It is named for Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, a prolific 19th century English novelist whose book "Paul Clifford" begins "It was a dark and stormy night."

"It's a play with words in a limited amount of space to write something clever. You are only allowed one sentence. You can make it as long as you want. You have to catch the judges' fancy."

That's certainly what Perry did with his pomposity of prose about the discovery of a dead food critic found on the floor of a bistro:

"The corpse exuded the irresistible aroma of a piquant, ancho chili glaze enticingly enhanced with a hint of fresh cilantro as it lay before him, coyly garnished by a garland of variegated radicchio and caramelized onions, and impishly drizzled with glistening rivulets of vintage balsamic vinegar and roasted garlic oil; yes, as he surveyed the body of the slain food critic slumped on the floor of the cozy, but nearly empty bistro, a quick inventory of his senses told corpulent Inspector Moreau that this was, in all likelihood, an inside job."